Aileen Through the Looking Glass

Serendipity Part 2

Sadly there are no photos of Sri Lanka for you to see at the moment as wonderful as the Maldives are (where I am writing from on a sunny Saturday morning) they have set up their computers so I cannot downlod pictures from my camera. All will be solved when I reach Beth and Dom next week.

So, on with Sri Lanka. As an aside, before I left Kandy, I ventured out on my usual global quest for interesting pain killers, preferably full of codeine. The pharmacist proceeded to try to sell me diclofenac and a PPI!!! (sorry this is a bit of an in joke for the Pfizerites) He couldn't work out what I was so horrified/amused at and finally sold me some rubbish with 8mgs codeine in it. Bloody pharmaceutical advisors get everywhere!!

My driver/guide Upali must get a mention as he was very kind and helpful and told me interesting things as we drove round. Admittedly it mostly consisted of how many people had been killed last night - oh, did I not mention the 2 and a half year ceasefire ended the night after I arrived?! He also was keen on pointing out what bits the British had built when they arrived with a flag and some serious uppity attitude about three hundred years ago ("Hello, chaps! Do you have a flag for this country?? No, well we do, so we'll just pop that there, and if you could carry my bags for me we'll just appropriate that city over there for starters..." etc). I am not usually hugely patriotic abroad as we have usually done something screamingly embarrassing and cruel, but even I was being indignant as all we seemed to have done was build some bloody good roads and the only bridges left standing.

On my last night, I met, quite by chance, the Head of Operations for the European Commission for post conflict and tsunami aid. Quite a large business card, but a top bloke, and we had drinks and dinner together (no, not like that) and I learned more from him than I had the whole week about this sorry country. As I mentioned, ATT have taken up their guns and torches offically again, after 2 years of "peace". The new Prime Minister is very anti-Tamul, in my opinion, and things are not going to improve with him. The Tamuls forcibly stopped their own people voting in the elections, and are determined to get their own separate state in the North, but it will never happen - even though it would be a good solution. As ever, unless you have lived through these situations, my feeling is always that you don't get to have a valid judgement, so I won't make one, except to say that both sides are wrong, and violence will never be the answer. It is interesting that the UK media has never really given the Hindu Tamul side of the story that I have seen, but as Peter says, they are now modelling themselves on the Khymer Rouge, so maybe they don't deserve it.

Anyway, as we all struggle on with our daily politics and power struggles dealing with assholes in our way, spare a thought for Peter, who is trying to find a glimmer of hope and postivity for normal people trying to find a home to live in that won't get burnt down as soon as it is built. Now that the guns have started firing, he can't build houses anymore - there is no point. He really is dealing with assholes, and I hope he and his family stay safe in that hell on earth they call Sri Lanka.

Serendipity ... My arse.

The word "serendipity" comes from the island of Sri Lanka and means a beautiful happening by chance. I don't know what bloody dictionary the Sri Lankans were using, but it wasn't the same one as me.

I have tried to be fair in my mind to the place for a week, now. I know I was very tired when I arrived - it took 21 hours exactly to get from my hotel in Koh Lanta to my hotel at the Elephant Orphanage at Pinnehwala. It is also not the fault of the island that it was the worst room I have ever been in - I am still recovering from the sores that were a gift from the wildlife that lived in my bed. As you arrive at the airport, it is quite surreal as the Duty Free area has nothing in it but 23 identical shops all selling giant fridges, tellies and washing machines. Now I don't know about you, but I have never been struck by the need to purchase White Goods to take to the beach.

Another idiosyncracy of the island is that noone will either sell or buy the currency except on Sri Lanka itself - I appear to be not the only person/country that has fallen out with it. I am met by jeering scorn in the two countries I have been in before and since when I have tried to carry out a transaction, and so am left with a large quantity of useless and annoying currency.

Anyway, the elephants did seem to be well looked after, if slightly exploited for the tourists. I guess it is still better than being shot though. At least I hope it is. Does anyone remember Dumbo's mother??

Kandy was a noisy and busy city in the same way that Jabba the Hut is slightly overweight and grumpy. It is a mad, heaving, dusty, noisy smelly nightmare to which I hope never to return. I arrived there after being sold an immense quantity of Ayuverdic "medicine" by the biggest chancer I have ever met, and by god I've met a few. Dr Sekarin had cured his own epilepsy - 7 seizures a day - after his own pharmaceutical medicine didn't work and made him go bald - I know we've all read that side effect on the back of Neurontin packs, guys. Anyway he didn't know what I did for a living, so it was all quite good fun, and if I hadn't been laughing so much I might not have bought so much bollocks, however pure, natural Sandalwood Oil is good wherever it comes from.

At Kandy I was staying at the Swiss Residence which is "A perfect blend of the Swiss and the Sri Lankan". I mean, can you imagine the city fathers standing around having a quiet smoke and saying to themselves, "Now, we've got the temples, and the botanical gardens, what we really need is a blend of Swiss and Sri Lankan to really finish it all off..."

All I can say is that it looked and felt Italian to me. I do not know why, but as I am fond of my European brothers, I just had a stiff drink and went to bed.