Aileen Through the Looking Glass

My Snorkel Test!

Well, the moment everyone but me was waiting for. I am now officially a Dive Master! The big moment could not become official until the ordeal of the Snorkel Test was complete however. It started with Lisa making me do the Sweet Sweet dance followed by the Macarena. Lars thought this was girly and rubbish and made me stand on the "stage" and do a Drink/Drugs Briefing in the style of a Dive Briefing off the cuff. Sadly for him and everyone else, I of course, love that kind of shit and was quite happy to be the centre of attention and be funny on stage.

Of course, this was just putting off the inevitable. To give you a clear idea, I had to take three big breaths when the mask and snorkel was on, and by now I cannot breathe through my nose, so when the alcohol arrives through the snorkel, I must drink it all before I can breathe. i am already hyperventilating by this point of course...

All was going not too bad - the video is hilarious and you will see it till you are very bored. But towards the end, Hendrik shouted that Lars was behind me about to pour something else into the snorkel and I completely panicked and let down Scotland and women everywhere by spitting out the last bit...

However, I don't really care, and finished the rest of the whisky and orange quite peacefully from a bucket with a straw. A nice night was had by all.

Some Photos

I can finally get to post some photos here, so here are a few choice examples of how I spend my time, and with whom:

Katie and Alex'x wedding, with us giving the traditional Diver's OK signal. Was a beautiful wedding on the beach with fireworks, Champagne - that Alex opened with a sword - very cool, and Wish Balloons (amazing large balloons that float for hours really high in the sky after you make a wish on them, they look like stars.

Lee and Dee (with the guitar) at Dear's birthday party on the beach. Dear is one of the Thai staff, a really lovely guy who speaks perfect English, but quite shy. Lee is mentioned in "The Cast" and Dee is one of the Instructors from Malaysia who is having a relationhip with his DiveMaster Trainee - so she does less work than me - ooh bitchy! But I had to get it off my chest - you understand...

Me and Loona who was here for a few months, from Denmark. Ooh look how thin, brown and blond I am!!

Katie's Snorkel Test!!! They make all us DiveMaster Trainees do this when we finish - is a Global Tradition apparently. The bucket has whiskey and orange juice in it and is poured into the Snorkel - obviously you can't breath through your nose and therefore have to neck it in one. Thank God we have Lisa as our Instructor or it would have all sorts of shit in it. Mine is in about 10 days and I am TERRIFIED!

Lisa and Lars who own the shop admittedly not looking their best on Snorkel Test night. Their wedding is on the 19th and is set to be a three day party which will go down in history. I wouldn't miss it for the world, and have a lovely new top made from the tailors - so cheap!!

Soona in a typical pose, one of Lars' friends from Denmark, and absolutely hilarious but quite mental. He has been here a few months now, but sadly will miss the wedding, but his leaving night should be worth seeing.

Me wearing the expression I usually wear when talking to Soona. Thankfully I have no recollection of what he has just said. Sadly i can imagine.

Still alive and kicking (or finning)

Well, its been a while, but I have finally found the time and the energy to write on the Blog again - sorry for the interuption to usual service but as you will see, my days are quite busy being a DiveMaster Trainee (or slave). Here is a quick snap of a typical day:

6:30am - get up, have refreshing cold shower (all I have), try and find clean clothes and walk to work

7:00am - start loading air tanks (very heavy buggers) on to the trolley and help haul them to the beach and load them on to the boat, plus all the packed Divers bags.

7:30am - gather up the customers and take them to the boat and head off to Koh Ha - beautiful divesite of 5 small islands.

10 - 2pm - do two dives, serve lunch to customers, repack bags and head back to Koh Lanta

3-7pm - Haul tanks and bags back to shop, wash gear, charge tanks and generally do what needs to be done in the shop

7.01 - 11pm - Drink red wine, eat food, fall into bed and read for 5 minutes and sleeeeeeep.

Hope this explains a wee bit why I haven't been online too much recently.

I love it though!

The Cast

So, who are all these great people that I work with....

Lisa and Lars - Dutch and Danish respectively, are engaged but neither speaks the others language, although both speak about 4 others between them. They own the Dive shop and have become as indispensible as possible to Lisa - who really runs it! The result is that i am now indispensible and therefore cannot stay out all night drinking as have to be in work at 7.00am! Love them both.

Yael - Isreali, absolutely lovely person, and Dive Instructor. Just ended a 7 year relationship - and he works here too, George. Has coped unbelievably well with it all, and we have had many a deep chat and glass of red wine together. A star.

Kate and Alex - English and French. Katie is doing her Dive Master with me, and we are an equally bad influence on each other - a partner in crime and a good friend. I did the make up at her wedding this week - unbelievably beautiful day, and she was too. Will get some pictures of it up soon. Ales is utterly gorgeous and very French and fabulous and a genuinely nice bloke. laugh lots with them both.

Lee - Well the least said the better in a way, but 24, from Essex, far too good looking for his own good. Am well over it. Most of the time. Waste of space. Then I have a drink. Nothing changes, especially not me and bad boys with cheeky grins. Moving on...

The Thai boys - Boat boys and Boat Captains. All hilarious and teaching me Thai. Hearts of gold. Also insane.

Scott and Julie - English, freelance Divemasters. Utterly love them. They come and take me away for buckets of Mai Tais when I get stressed in the shop. Are getting married one day soon. Both hilarious and always a good night out.

Still alive and well...

Its been a while, but I have an unlikely but true excuse. I have been working 12 hour days in the Dive Shop!! I know, who would have thought it. Even more unlikely is the immense pride I take in keeping it clean and sweeping the floor every day. Its the small things that give the most pleasure. Anyway, I thought it would make sense to give you an idea of the people and things I am doing on a day to day basis, so the next couple of Blogs will be about that. I promise they will be soon.

Over so soon...

I can't believe I am writing this from Singapore Airport having left Thailand after what seems like such a short time. Of course it has been a month, but I have enjoyed it so much in Koh Lanta that I am very sad to have gone.

Its been quite a surreal day, to have left the island at 8:ooam this morning and to be standing here at 5:30pm in Singapore is quite a feat. I like to think the second bus driver drove like a mentalist due to my small, blonde smiling, but I think it was more likely the fact that the wonderful Abdul, who owns the Palm Beach resort where I stay, made two phone calls yesterday and suddenly there was a car, a boat and two buses all lined up. Abdul is apparently "well connected" on Koh Lanta - we don't ask, but as you all know I have a well developed 'list' in case I ever meet anyone like him.

I ended my last week on the island in style with more dives and a visit to the local Thai Boxing stadium, which is a raucous night out for all the family. Our local restaurant waiter was fighting, having KO'd his opponent a fortnight ago. He is called the Palm Beach Barbecue Boy, which is brilliant, and he fought brilliantly. I appear to be one of those awful bloodthirsty women who yell at boxing matches - go figure.

Anyway, off to Sri Lanka now,  but I have enjoyed Koh Lanta so much that I have cancelled Australia - boring, and crap diving - to go back to Thailand, and re-join the gang and learn how to become a Dive Master, so I might be able to earn some money out of this lark, but mostly cos I can Dive, Drink and Smoke, all day every day. Its a bit like Heaven.....

For Dad and James

I have a horrible feeling that this might be too dark to make out, but this is a picture of the Biggest Team in Lanta - bless them all in their Celtic tops. They are top of the League here too! IF you click on it you might make them out.

I think their might have been a team in Rangers tops next to it, but we weren't really bothered about that one...

I Found Nemo!!

The Blog has been a bit quiet in the last week because I have discovered a new passion, and have been out scuba diving for the last 7 days. I went out snorkelling last week and really enjoyed it more than I thought I would, given that I am terrified of fish - or I was I should say. I decided to give the scuba diving a shot so I could see more of the lovely fish and coral they have here, and I absolutely LOVED IT!! I find myself constantly talking in cliche and superlative because unless you have done it, it is really hard to describe how beautiful, peaceful and priveleged you feel floating around down there with all the fish doing their thing.

I passed my Open Water dive course no problems and then started straight on to my Advanced Diver. I went to Hin Deng on Tuesday, which is listed as one of the world's Top 10 Dive sites - and rightly so. The Manta Rays were not out to play, but I am going back next week as they have to be seen to be believed. My favourite is a tie between the "nemos" and the Porcupine puffer with its face shaped like a box and its big eyes and smiley face, I have made friends with two of them, and they are so inquisitive and sweet. The major coup came yesterday when Tommy and me found a Turtle - so cool!!! Tommy is my Dive Instructor Extrordinare. He is Japanese, and unbelelievably cool and laid back, and has done over 1050 dives. He also popped down to 70 M once in Australia just to see what it was like, I think he is part fish and part bionic.

Anyway, I am having a wonderful time here, the Dive crew are all great fun, and great drinkers, and I really don't want to leave. They have said I should stay on and do my Dive Master and come back and work there maybe. God, wouldn't that be great....

Koh Lanta - Old Town Festival

Last week was the annual festival to celebrate the official end of the Monsoon season (no-one has told the weather, unfortunately!). I met some lovely people on the Dive boat when I went snorkelling and they invited me to go with them to Lanta Old Town, on the other side of the Island which is less predominantly Muslim, and more Buddhist - in fact the inhabitants are called Sea Gypsies, because of the amount of time they spend at sea, fishing.

We had a lovely evening, despite the downpour, and when the rain had cleared, all the locals go down to the river front to put their "offerings" into the river. These are basically small boats made of flowers and fruit, with sparklers and candles on them. After a while there was a beautiful flotilla of sparkling lights across the bay.

After that there was a fireworks festival that put the Hogmanay Fireworks in Edinburgh to shame. It was fantastic, with fireworks I have never seen before that skite across the sky after each other before falling to earth. All in all it was a really fun night, as you can see from Lucy and my face in the picture.

Koh Lanta - What a night

I'm now on the rather beautiful island of Koh Lanta across from Krabi and Koh Phi Phi. Its rather a different place to either of these, and is about 20 years or so behind in terms of development etc and a lot poorer and more basic. For all that, it is a really nice place to be with lots of friendly locals and tourists so I am staying here for a while to relax. And by the looks of this beach, you can see why...

This is the beach right outside my resort. By the way, something I should have mentioned, if you click on the picures in these posts, you get a much bigger version to see.

Last night was an experience to remember though. We had the worst electrical storms I have ever seen, really terrifying to be honest.Incredible rain and the loudest and most dramatic thunder and lightning you could imagine. The bar was hit by lighting, unfortunately while I was in it, upstairs, and as we were all huddling downstairs in this bamboo hut that is the bar/restaurant, it got hit again, putting paid to that old saying once and for all for me - it bloody does strike twice! Anyway, everyone was fine, and I now run like hell at the first sign of flashing lights back to my comfy bungalow, made of lovely bricks and mortar -

Anyway, I don't want to alarm anyone, everything is fine and its a really nice place when the weather is being normal, and tonight is the full moon festival which also marks the end of the Monsoon season - hopefully!! I am off to the old town tonight with some lovely folks I met on my snorkelling trip yesterday - more of that when I get the pictures back. So, I'll sign off now as this post has taken me 50 minutes as Broadband is but a dream here...